Why it”s much better to confront someone with the truth than comfort them with a lie —- Oba Edu Adimula (3)
By Bode Durojaiye.
To the Oba Edu Adimula of Yorubaland, Oba Morakinyo Fatokun Jayeola, being honest will take one to several places in life, but dishonesty can negatively impact your life.
According to him, honesty is an integral character that makes people become better versions of themselves.
‘ When you’re honest, you’re also perceived as reliable, dependable, and someone with integrity. It’s much better to confront someone with the truth than comfort them with a lie. While it might make them feel better temporarily, you’re hiding a truth they deserve to know.
People who choose to live a life filled with dishonesty tend to be afraid of confrontation and don’t want to face the facts.
“In reality, lying is a better option as it helps you run away from brutal truths.
However, it’s neither helping yourself nor the people you’re lying to. Most often, dishonesty is the aspect that breaks apart relationships and friendships.
The reason why honesty is the best policy is that it takes a lot of integrity, courage, and righteousness to be able to live an honest and authentic life.
Honesty isn’t just about stating truthful facts all the time, but it’s also being true to yourself and the way you live your life.
“Not only is it extremely stressful to keep being dishonest with yourself and others, but it represents everything on your character and values. People won’t be drawn to maintain a bond with you if you’re not someone they can rely on.
People deserve the right to know the authentic version of the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable and may result in conflict”.
Aare Isese pointed out that there’s no need to feel guilty or harbour difficult feelings that come primarily from lying, adding that When you live a truthful life, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not, and you don’t need to hide important facts.
“The way people see you is how you actually are. So you don’t feel guilt, shame, or fear daily for being discovered on the lie you were trying so hard to bury. Being truthful makes your life ten times easier instead of living a very stressful and frustrating life.
” Do you know that it’s rare to find someone who cares little about what others think and cares more about doing the moral and right thing. If this is you, honesty builds your confidence since it also reflects your character and integrity. Since honesty is also connected to how you maintain and develop relationships, being a dependable individual builds your self-esteem. People will always be drawn to honest people as it’s impossible to have any kind of bond with someone you can’t trust. Without honesty, there’s no trust and without trust, no foundation can be formed”.
Oba Edu Adimula of Yorubaland further elucidates, ” unfortunately, honesty can be hard to come by at times. But in all your relationships, honesty is one of the foundations that make your relationships strong and have the ability to withstand everything. This is the secret of how I have been weathering the storm, and even my mutual relationship with the late IKu Baba Yeye, Oba ( Dr.) Lamidi Olayiwola Adeyemi 111, the Alaafin of Oyo.
“Your opinion has more value
It’s only natural that when you’re honest, your loved ones come to you for advice and opinions. Your loved ones know that your motto is “honesty ” so when they’re looking for direct advice, they come to you.
“Once honesty is one of your core values as a person, you become more authentic- both towards yourself and others. It’s easy to put up a mask or a facade and be someone you’re not. Honesty pushes you to be your true authentic self towards others. Our youths should borrow a leaf from this . This is how to live a meaningful life devoid of any undesirable acts.
“Righteousness exalts a natiin. So, everyone should imbibe honest, in order to make his or her words valuable.
If someone just lies and says anything to make people feel good, you can’t know if they ever really mean what they say. When you’re consistently honest, it puts more weight to your words when you speak. People can know you mean it when you say their ideas or creative endeavors are good.
“They can know you mean it when you compliment them or offer them words of encouragement. It makes your words matter. The less guilt and stress you have from lying, the more peace you have. You’re not burdened by the lie you’re maintaining or keeping from someone. Instead, you live with comfort knowing that you’ve been completely upfront and have not been misleading in anyway.
“People lie sometimes to feel more accepted by people, or make people like them. There are two problems with this. One problem is if people end up liking us for our lies, when they find out everything we said wasn’t true, it makes it difficult for them to like you anymore.
Another problem is if someone ends up not liking you based on your lies, then you’ll never know if they would have really liked who you are if you were honest in the first place. In life, some people will like us, and some people won’t like us. It feels much better to be completely honest and authentic to yourself and find a person that likes you exactly the way you are”.
The Aare Isese finally admonished that, “I can recall numerous stories where people saw a lost wallet, or a large amount of cash left on the ground somewhere. When those people returned the money to the rightful owners, they were given some of the money as a reward.
“While honestly won’t always lead to getting a cash reward, it can reward you with peace of mind, getting what you want from others more, and being more confident. I think we’d all enjoy being rewarded in those ways”.